Ode to the photogenic cat


O photogenic cat, thou art so photogenic.

Thy photogenicness knows no earthy bounds.

Thy picturesque form and photogenicness are sung unto the heavens.

All shall love you and despair.*

No doubt this was your devious goal, o you

Photogenic cat of time and space unknown

Your powers make us fall to our knees

hail the great photogenic cat

in all her photogenicness

she is ten times the man we will ever be

SAM_0748Did you hear the child speak?

He said what we have all said at one time or another.

Come, listen to the wisdom he dispels

Unto those ears who know much

of photogenicness.

“That cat is so photogenic

“I’m just going to sit on a bench and cry about it

“Not because I’m jealous. Not because I overreact to things.

“But because photogenicness is the true measure of truth

“And prosperity and dignity and joy

“And this cat has beat us all in this endless cruel game of photogenicness.”
SAM_0753 What even are you, photogenic cat.

Howfore art thou tormentor and yet

I cannot look away from you, o beast

Of perfect photogenicness.SAM_0763How didst thou twist thy body all up like that

Thou devious devil photogenic cat

And why must you destroy the infrastructure

Thou tormentor.

Photogenicness, ye curse moste horrible.

I don’t know. I can’t remember her name. I think it was Pumpkin, maybe. She was adoptedĀ a while back.

*That line is Galadriel’s, which is also why it’s the best line in this AMAZING poem.

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