The Disney Dozen

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1. What’s your favourite Disney film and why?

erm: The Lion King. First movie seen in theatres. I used to get to the end, rewind the VHS, and rewatch. Music and colours are excellent, the main character fits the theme like a glove, the villain fits the theme like a glove, all of the side characters fit the theme like a glove. And the music. Listening to “Under the Stars” makes me cry. This movie has a power over me I cannot explain and so I just memorized ALL of the lines and tell everyone who will listen that it is the best movie ever, and hope that it doesn’t one day abuse its grasp on my emotions and crush my soul like a grape.

three: Mulan. All the pieces of Mulan fit together – the music, the villain, the sidekick, the Princess, the love interest, the macroscopic plot, the character development… All of it. Like TLK, it is, in my opinion, a perfect film. The reason it replaced TLK as my favourite is mainly because it speaks to me a little more clearly than TLK does, thematically. While TLK is about running from responsibility, Mulan is about feeling obligated to be one thing which is, at times, at odds with who you are. Everything from the family dynamic, the gender component, and the interactions with the love interest make this perfect representation for women who don’t fit into the basic female gender stereotype (which actually is all of us).

2. What was the first Disney film you ever saw?

erm: The Lion King, owner of my soul

three: The Lion King also, I think.

3. If you could ask Walt one question, what would it be?

erm: How would you have done Beauty and the Beast? I’ve always wondered that after learning that it was a project he had considered at some point.

three: Pink Elephants on Parade.

4. You’re asked to create an attraction at Disneyland based on a Disney movie. What do you create?

erm: Either La Ratatouille or Tiana’s Palace. Both would be good. It is an injustice that neither exists yet.

three: Pink Elephants on Parade dive bar.

5. What fairy tale that Disney haven’t yet adapted would you like to see them make?

erm: Rumpelstiltskin – so long as we’re acknowledging that everyone except the poor girl is a HORRIBLE person. Rumpelstiltskin isn’t even NEARLY the worst villain in it. I’d like a team-up, please. They run off together and bring down the terrible king and his terrible kingdom.

three: Little Red Riding Hood, in which Red is a new badass Disney Princess. I’d enjoy a portrayal similar to the one from Into the Woods, where she was a brash little girl who kept stealing baked goods – Disney could use more ladies who take action! Of course, I’d want the endgame to get shaken up so that the Saviour is the Grandma.

6. Gaston is excellent at most everything. But what are you better than Gaston at?

erm: I’m especially good at reciting The Lion King. Ptooey! 10 points to Gryffindor.

three: No one forecasts their future cash flows like three.

7. What’s your favourite Disney song?

erm: I’ll Make a Man Out of You, just because it’s the most fun to sing along to, but there are soooo many close seconds and thirds.

three: Part of Your World because Part of Your World, but as above, MANY close seconds and thirds as well.

8. What’s your least favourite Disney film?

erm: The Fox and the Hound. Too much sad. Too much irresponsible pet ownership. Not nearly enough making up for it at the end.

three: Peter Pan, primarily because of the hand-spit scene but also because the First Nations plot is so problematic that it distracts from the rest of the film and there was too much slapstick and I just feel like it could have been done so much better overall. See the live action Fox version.

9. You can live in any Disney film. Which one do you pick?

erm: Ratatouille. Good food, rat rights revolution. I’d like to be friends with Colette; she’s hardcore.

three: Aristocats, in which I am a fabulously wealthy elderly woman who sits around in her finest clothes enjoying the company of her many, many rescued cats.

10. You’re the eighth member of the Dwarfs. What name do you go by?

erm: Whiney

three: Sulky.

11. Disney makes a new Fantasia. Which musical pieces would you like to see them include?

erm: Nessun Dorma is pretty dramatic. Rhapsody in Blue is one of my favourite things ever, so some jazz would be essential. Maybe Take Five? A Christmas short set to instrumental Deck the Halls or Carol of the Bells or Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy or basically anything Christmas. Lord of the Dance could be cool.

three: Agree with the above RE: Christmas short – I’d love to see them do Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Canon in D, Revenge of the Sugar Plum Fairy, Whoville Medley, or any TSO, really. A less dramatic suggestion: Ländler.

12. You can invite five Disney characters to a dinner party. Who do you choose and why?

erm: Lucifer (necessary at all dinner parties), Yzma (for killer toasts), Kronk (it’s a potluck and I need his spinach puffs), Jiminy Cricket (how could I not), and Fix-It Felix (because aww). Mostly I want polite guests but if I end up a llama who needs to clean cat footprints off my front hall floor that’s OK too. Especially because I have a front hall.

three: The Mad Hatter, the March Hare, the Dormouse, Alice, and the Cheshire Cat. Obviously, tea would be served, as would Un-birthday cake.

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