Episode 2: The Queen’s Justice

Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

Also, this week’s feature image is Nymie biting Joff because it’s fitting for numerous reasons, but mainly because the episode is called “The Queen’s Justice.” Heh heh heh. Yeah. Bite away, Nymie.

sansaspoilers

The whole Sand Snakes plot is gross and I hate it and I don’t want to talk about it.

The Theon thing seems pretty freaking mean-spirited too.

Is Asha dead. Sorry. Is Yara dead. Or was that someone else hanging. At this point, I don’t care. I just want Euron to shut up forever, I don’t even need him to die. I just want him written out of the show so that I don’t have to look at him anymore.

Also, (a) dragon(s) is/are going to die this season so THAT’S COOL THANKS QYBURN I HATE YOU.

Fucking. Jorah. Mormont. Is. Going. To. Live. Isn’t. He.

AND! Everyone got a cool speech EXCEPT Lady Olenna? She said things that make basically no sense. How dare they write a bunch of crap for her and not something good like everyone else got?

There was a tonne of good stuff though:

  • Varys’s speech was fantastic and it makes me like him. In the books, I think he’s not so great. I don’t believe he cares about “the people” very much – maybe a little, but mostly he’s in it for his own interests. But that was too complicated for the show so instead he gets to be pretty cool and I root for him now, so there’s that.
  • Jon and Dany are going to meet, cool
  • Sansa is in charge of The Entire North now and Littlefinger is there and I’m apparently the only one who has faith in our girl. Guys. She’s gonna be fine. There is no way Littlefinger is escaping justice, so even if it’s not until the final scene in episode 7 of next season, you have to know he’s eventually going to be getting his. Relax.
  • PS: remember the last time Jon tried to muscle around a guy who was way more Sansa’s villain than his? Yeah, me too. It’s going to be fine, and it’s going to be Sansa who takes care of things. Or we riot, I guess.
  • Mel and Dany met and Mel and Miss told Dany that the prophecy could mean “princess” but then Mel was like “but it’s a little more complicated than that” because she’s a book reader and therefore actually understands nuance.
  • Arya’s going north but first she met Hot Pie YES
  • And then she met Nymeria YESSSSSSSS
  • but why no Nymeria
  • she doesn’t like having rocks thrown at her I guess
  • Tyrion had a good plan… until now.
  • The Grey Worm/Missandei sex scene was OK but everyone’s going to joke about the whole “no penis” thing which is shitty because there are people who do the thing without the thing, OK, and it’s fine. Honestly, I’m ace and I get it, and so I really don’t get how the rest of the world, as sex-obsessed as it is, doesn’t freaking understand that sex is not 100% solely focused on and devoted to a penis and, in fact, if it is, isn’t it super boring and unlikely to be satisfying for het womz? Like. GET. OVER. IT.
  • Like look I know GW can’t do his own thing now but like. It’s fine. It happens IRL for various reasons. And it’s FINE. OMG. Stop laughing at people with genital mutilation even fictional ones WHY.

Sorry. I’m still pissed that every time freaking Podrick walks on screen the comments are all “Oh there’s Big-Dick Pod” GUYS. THEY SAID IT WAS AVERAGE, YOU ABSOLUTE CRETINS. IDK I GUESS HE WAS JUST AN ATTENTIVE LOVER OR SOMETHING WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE THAT THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS EVEN AFTER THAT INFAMOUS JON SNOW: CUNNILINGUS GOD THING.

This show turns me into a bad person.

When is the next Disney movie coming out.

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