Episode 6: How Did that Raven Get to Dany and then She Got All the Way to Eastwatch in that Minute Amount of Time I Mean Really Now

sansaspoilers

So.

I give up.

Not because of the absolutely hilarious pacing going on this season, no.

Not because Sansa and Arya’s conversation, while much better than their initial meeting, is very, very stupid.

Not because Tormund is still a sexual harasser but everyone keeps laughing at the “joke” that is him leering at Brienne and Brienne being angry and uncomfortable about it, no, not even that.

Not because Viserion died and was reanimated. Nope. I figured the dragons weren’t making it out alive from this story.

Here, have Sansa again, because my reasons for giving up are lousy and you shouldn’t read them.

sansaspoilers

Yes, Sansa, my sweet girl, I am spoiling everything. In fact, I already have.

I read the leaks.

I urge you not to, if you’re reading this and you haven’t read them yet.

“What leaks?”

Don’t worry about it.

Instead, watch this tutorial for how to do Wonder Woman’s intense braid.

Seriously, don’t read the leaks. I knew better, and yet I still did it, and I regret it now. Three and I were up north and I told her, “I’m not going to read any of the leaks this time, because it’ll ruin the experience for sure.” And then an hour later I read the leaks.

If I hadn’t, and I’d just watched the show episode by episode as it comes out like someone with willpower, I probably would enjoy much of it. But there’s something about just reading a cliff’s notes version of it that made me feel completely empty inside.

I just think the way everything happens, it’s just so… not worth it. And that had increasingly been my fear lately, creeping up on me as we move towards the end of the series. “What if after everything it isn’t worth it, if there isn’t a conclusion that makes up for all of the horror and misery we’ve endured in this fictional world so far?”

And yeah. Basically.

And I know they might not be real but they’re pretty convincing. Trademark D&D hackyness in every new development.

If the book version ending resembles the show ending in any way, shape, or form, then I totally understand why GRRM doesn’t want to write it.

Yiiiiiiiiiiiiikes.

Here, watch all four videos in which Shaun TAKES APART Cinema Sins for being way, waaaay worse than any episode of Game of Thrones ever was or ever will be.

In conclusion: don’t ruin it for yourself.

Don’t read leaks.

HBO. Babe. Like. Get your life together, with regards to content hacking, I mean really (oh and don’t air Confederate).

It’s not terrible. It’s just… not what I kind of needed, especially, I mean, do you remember the scene where Janos Slynt stabs a baby while her mother screams and pleads for him to not, all to show that Tyrion is a good person, which we already knew? Yeah. And that’s in the book, too – we don’t watch it happen, which is better, but it’s still in there. Like. If you’re going to just kill babies and rape everyone and the majority of the men, women, and babies in this world are going to suffer immensely while living and die horribly all to help us determine who we’re rooting for in the great Game o’ the Thrones, I need a better ending than that. For I am tender-hearted and very, very annoyed that it doesn’t end with Mormont’s Raven on the Iron Throne.

I HAVE BEEN CHEATED OF KING MORMONT’S RAVEN, FIRST OF HIS NAME, SCREAMER OF “CORN,” HINTER OF SECRET ROYAL PARENTAGE, BEST FRIEND OF DOLOROUS ED.

I’m going to watch the finale for this season, and that’ll be it. I’m so empty. Like Pooh’s tummy.

2 thoughts on “Episode 6: How Did that Raven Get to Dany and then She Got All the Way to Eastwatch in that Minute Amount of Time I Mean Really Now

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