Season 6 Wrap-Up

All right, let’s look at our predictions and see how off we were. We used strikeouts and bolded things that were extra wrong.

Jon

  • Is he dead?
    • No, he is not
  • Will he be resurrected this season?
    • Yes, by Mel
  • What’s next for Jon?
    • He will learn his parentage from Howland Reed and brood about it

Jon’ll be learning, probably from Bran, and brooding, next season, we suspect.

The Wall

  • Is that wall coming down?
    • Hell yes that wall is coming down
  • How long will it take those shambling grotesques to take that wall down?
    • Probably 8.75 episodes

Here’s another thing waiting for next season. Probably the last scene of season 7 will be the Wall coming down.

Arya

  • Will she die?
    • No
  • What’s next for Arya?
    • She will leave the House of Black and White and return to Westeros to finish her list

Danaerys

  • Will she die?
    • No
  • What about the Dothraki?
    • Drogon eats them
  • Then what?
    • She has to go to Old Valyria according to that one prophecy
  • … Then what?
    • Judging by how long it takes her to do things, probably nothing.

She did stuff but she’s only just sailing to Westeros as we end the season, so…

Sansa

  • Will she die?
    • No
  • What’s next for Sansa?
    • Queen in the North/Littlefinger-Slayer/Davos becomes her Hand of the Queen

Not entirely untrue, but since Jon got to be Queen in the North instead and Littlefinger is still alive…

Jorah

  • Will he die?
    • Yes, before the opening credits
  • Okay, but seriously though.
    • He has to die this season, probably horribly, and we can’t wait.

The WORST part of the season was when Dany told Jorah to go cure himself. Noooooooooo.

Tyrion

  • Will he die?
    • No, but the dragons will try
  • What’s next for Tyrion?
    • He will mess up Meereen and then rage quit

He only sort of messed up Meereen, and didn’t rage quit, to his credit.

Ramsay

  • Will he die?
    • YES.
  • When?
    • Can’t happen soon enough.

Brienne

  • Will she die?
    • No
  • What’s next for Brienne?
    • She will be reunited with Jaime and then sell him out to a certain reincarnated badass, we hope.

Drogon

  • Will he die?
    • No
  • What’s next for Drogon?
    • Eating tasty Dothraki
  • Then what?
    • Enjoying fine music in Old Valyria

Man, no one’s ever going to Old Valyria.

Mormont’s Raven

  • Will he die?
    • No, especially since he’s not in the show
  • What’s next for Mormont’s Raven?
    • While everyone is busy fighting he will secretly run Westeros

CONFIRMED.

Cersei

  • Will she die?
    • Yes, but only after “gold their shrouds” comes true. Sorry, Tommen.
  • How does she die?
    • Probably Jaime but we’re gunning for Rickon (mainly because he’d be in the show again). Valonqar time.

Next season Jaime, looking like.

Ghost

  • Will he die?
    • Please, God, no.
  • What’s next for Ghost?
    • Join a band with Dolorous Ed as the drummer

Bronn

  • Will he die?
    • No
  • What’s next for Bronn?
    • He will cease to be a character, we hope

Other worst part of the season: every time Bronn showed up.

Grey Worm and Missandei

  • Will they die?
    • No
  • What’s next for them?
    • Hopefully no creepy sex scenes because that’s where we’re headed

Theon

  • Will he die?
    • No
  • What’s next for Theon?
    • Becomes the Greyjoy King which is a low honour at best

Theon read our list and decided to endorse Yara instead. Smart move.

Margaery

  • Will she die?
    • Yes
  • How will she die?
    • The Faith will inadvertently cause it

And Cersei will deliberately cause it, but, we’re still taking this one.

Varys

  • Will he die?
    • No
  • What’s next for Varys?
    • He will become a Pro-Targ villain

Basically.

Us

  • Will we get mad about lots of things?
    • YES. Namely about how annoying it is that the featured image for this post is a gif

We could say some things, like, wow, they’re doing a horrible job with the direwolves due mainly to budget constraints but that reality doesn’t temper our disappointment, and, yikes, as the endgame approaches it’s becoming a little easier to believe that we’re right when we say that D&D’s trademark cynicism is doing a quack job on some key thematic elements, but, that stuff can wait.

Until next April, then.

Advertisements

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s