A new romance blossoms. But alas, it is threatened. Danger and power-hungry villains trashing monuments lurk in the shadows, but the tender new romance’s main foe is something much smaller, much more personal, and, with much more specific stakes.
The man has been lying, the whole time, to the woman.
It’s OK, though, she’s bound to forgive him.
I wanted to look at the sometimes bizarre, potentially weird, probably problematic dynamics of a couple of deception romances that occur in some animated classics. Just for fun. Not to judge anyone for liking them (I like them too), nor to suggest that these romances have produced a problematic blueprint that vulnerable child viewers might use when forging their own relationships. I do think media representations matter, but I also think that interrogating media you engage with and enjoy is the best way to make sure you don’t replicate its problematic elements. Also I doubt anyone is really trying to emulate someone like Dimitri IRL, but then, who knows.
Speaking of which…
Anastasia and Dimitri
Let’s set aside the objective fact that this movie really shouldn’t exist and that even the way it does exist, with blatant reimagining of real historical events, it’s eyebrow-raising at best. The characters are likeable. Some of the songs are good. The outfits rock. We can set the real history of it aside for 90 minutes.
What I can’t set aside is my befuddlement at the love story. I remember quite enjoying it when I was a kid and a teenager. Back then, if a romance wasn’t enemies-to-lovers or didn’t involve belligerent sexual tension, I wasn’t interested. I’m not sure why that held appeal for me, though I am inclined to think it’s because those tropes are kind of juvenile. I’m still down to engage in some slow-burn misrepresentation, miscommunication, misunderstanding, and mind-changing, but the clear dislike and trading of insults that happen between Anastasia and Dimitri when they are new acquaintances no longer does it for me.
That’s not even the issue. If it were, I might say, “Well, I don’t really understand at what point they stop hating each other’s guts. Is it when Anya wears a dress? When he sees her in something not ridiculously oversized he falls in love with the shape of her or whatever? And she reciprocates because she likes dancing with him? That’s kind of weak, but, OK.” And that wouldn’t be worth a blog post.
No… it’s more the fact that Anya overhears her grandmother reaming Dimitri out for being a heartless con man, having held auditions for someone to play Anastasia only to take the grieving but hopeful Dowager’s reward money and run, which is exactly what he was planning on doing. This is his plan literally all the way up until he realizes that Anya is actually Anastasia, not just a good lookalike with convenient and manipulatable amnesia.
At that point, he forgets all about the reward money, because suddenly a future with Anya isn’t possible so it no longer matters. I understand why this changes things for him, but I do wonder what his plan is before he realizes the truth. Does he really think Anya would be fine with their scamming the Dowager, or that she’d never realize what they were doing? I guess it doesn’t matter, because Anya is Anastasia, so we never have to find out.
“Princesses don’t marry kitchen boys,” Dimitri laments. Right, but big-hearted women marry con men who deceive them and any other nearby emotionally vulnerable women for cash? Sounds plausible.
As a random aside, I hear a lot of complaints about Naveen from Princess and the Frog. Personally I like Naveen, but I guess I see where those complaints are coming from. OK not really. Flynn/Eugene from Tangled is pretty much the same person, just minus the royal blood and adding in thievery and one brief anecdote about being a poor orphan, and everyone loves him. My semi-relevant point is, Naveen, who has personal growth, who demonstrates an actual change in heart over a prolonged period of time in his movie, is waaaaaaaaay better than Dimitri here. I do get what Anastasia is going for and it has limited time to truly flesh it out, but I’m struggling to think of one Disney dude who starts out half as bad as Dimitri. Not even Nick Wilde, or Kuzco, for that matter. OK. Maybe Kuzco. But his ENTIRE movie was about making him into a better person. Dimitri gets one line.
Dowager: Why the change of mind?
Dimitri: It was more a change of heart.
He fell in love and is now a good person.
Well gosh golly me. That’s not how that works.
It’s particularly annoying because all Anya wants is to find her family. Now there is that “found family” element to the Dimitri thing, sure, but I’d buy that more if she ran off with Dimitri plus Vlad and… Sophie, I guess. Or if she ran off just her and Pooka, which would be the ideal ending in my opinion. Instead she just gets married, promising to see her grandmother again soon, and it doesn’t feel great from my perspective.
Before the murders, she’s shown making promises with her grandmother to be “together in Paris.” This phrase turns into the only clue she has about her family after she suffers from amnesia. When she learns that she really is Anastasia, she has to contend with the fact that her parents and siblings are dead, not that the movie is all that interested in that. Still, she has finally found what she says she wants in her “I Want” song, “Journey to the Past.” Comrade Phlegmenkoff says she always acts “like the queen of Sheba,” and high society walking, dancing, eating, and giving orders come naturally to her throughout. Are we really supposed to believe this girl doesn’t want the royal life the second she gets it back? “Once Upon a December” displays the luxurious parties that, by the end, she for some reason is no longer interested in. It also shows her enjoying herself with (I think) her sisters, and dancing with her father. Even if she doesn’t care about parties and gowns, she has found the one surviving member of her family and has only just got back the confidence to believe the memories that are now coming back to her, and she leaves her and everything else instantly to elope with the con man who spent most of the time they’ve known each other so far lying to her and manipulating her so that he could scam money off an old lady.
What.
What we see in this song? This is a character AND a movie that deserves a different love story and a different ending.
Megamind and Roxanne
My feelings towards Anastasia might be lukewarm to vaguely/nostalgically fond, but I LOVE Megamind. Does that love I have for it mean that I’m less weirded out by Megamind’s deception of Roxanne? No. But the fact that the movie frames it a little bit differently than Anastasia does… does.
A) There’s a lack of (real) belligerence. This may be enemies-to-lovers, but it’s a pretty unique version of that in that Megamind likes Roxanne from the beginning. Does he know he likes her? Probably not. Self-awareness is definitely not a strength Megamind has. But everyone else knows he likes her, or, at least, the audience does. For Roxanne’s part, she’s shown being not at all afraid of Megamind, even when he has kidnapped her, even when he’s finally succeeded and has taken over the city. She’s irritated, amused, and then sad and angry, but never scared.
“Please talk slower.”
B) He doesn’t set out to deceive her, he’s just stupid and ends up piling on the lies because he has no reason to tell her the truth. Or does he? Roxanne blatantly asks him, “Do you really think that I would ever be with you?” And he says, “No.” (It’s a very good scene). Minion previously tells him, “The bad guy doesn’t get the girl!” a statement Megamind echoes later (“I’m the bad guy. I don’t save the day, I don’t fly off into the sunset, and I don’t get the girl”), not long before he does save the day. To Minion, before his disastrous date, he says, “Maybe I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore!” But instead of doing the right thing and telling Roxanne who he is, he just carries on as he is, pretending to be a Metro Man historian or whatever that dude is supposed to be.
While he doesn’t mean to deceive Roxanne, there’s a point at which he decides to carry on the lie because it’s rewarding for him – specifically because he knows he actually has a chance at romance with Roxanne while he’s not the supervillain.
C) There’s a much more prolonged “crap I screwed up” part in this movie, compared to whatever strife Dimitri goes through. He loses everything except his terrible plan to turn Hal into a hero. He leans all the way into it, and things get even worse. He finally has to seek out Roxanne just to fix his mess. (Though he does bring up their catastrophic “breakup” at this point. Just once. Maybe the thing he says about not getting the girl is a second mention of it. Maybe he is a bit mopey. But allegiance-changing and heartbreak are tough.)
D) Though it’s not explicitly stated, when Roxanne asks Megamind to save her and he does, I think he does it without expectation that she’ll take him back afterwards. My justification for this belief is that he seems surprised when she turns off his hologram/deception device and is happy to see him. It’s minor but it exists.
E) It’s Megamind’s story, whereas in Anastasia it’s not Dimitri’s story. Megamind is a supervillain who slowly turns into a superhero. We expect him to misstep on his way to becoming good, so his follies are easier to forgive than Dimitri’s are as far as I’m concerned.
Aladdin and Jasmine
I had forgotten about this one, as the deception in this romance barely registers, but it’s definitely there, so let’s discuss.
When Aladdin first meets Jasmine, he likes her right away, and she lies by omission by not just telling him she’s the princess. He does find out shortly afterwards. When he next meets her, he’s dressed as a prince and pretends to be a whole other person. She shortly afterwards figures out she’s already met him, at which point he makes the frankly ridiculous choice to continue to lie to her. “I sometimes DRESS as a commoner.”
As the audience, we know that Jasmine doesn’t care about prince pedigrees. She does live under a law that requires her to marry a prince, though. Does this mitigate the lying? Maybe. Might not Jasmine have worked with Aladdin to keep up the façade, if Aladdin had told her the truth? Probably. Also, the Sultan just changes the law in the end so… what was the point?
The movie makes it clear that Aladdin’s deception is a bad thing, but it’s only partially about building a healthy foundation for their budding romance. The rest of it is that Aladdin is determined to continue to use the Genie to continue to deceive everyone into thinking he’s a prince, which means reneging on his promise to free the Genie. “She has to marry a prince.”
Of the three movies I’ve talked about so far, this is the one with the least reaction from the lady. Jasmine is just like, “Woah, didn’t see that coming,” and then she never mentions it again. It sort of makes sense, because, as stated above, she doesn’t care about royal blood. Jafar tells her in his irritating but amazing “Prince Ali Reprise,” so there’s a good chance that the medium is more infuriating to her than the message is. It does really seem that Jasmine doesn’t care that Aladdin lied to her. But. Who could stay mad at that face?
Conclusions
Well.
Deception in romance goes down easier if the main character is the deceiver. In both Aladdin and Megamind’s cases, it’s easier to empathize with their deception as they are the protagonist.
It’s sort of contradictorily better both when the woman doesn’t seem to care at all, and when she’s mad for a longer period of time. Jasmine is barely phased, and Roxanne is mad about it until the final showdown with Hal.
In Megamind and Anastasia, forgiveness is sped along because of the villainous guy trying to ruin everyone’s day. In Aladdin there is also one of those but there seems to be nothing to forgive from Jasmine’s point of view.
But really, the only interesting conclusion I have to draw is this:
“Princesses don’t marry kitchen boys.”
“I’m the bad guy. I don’t save the day, I don’t fly off into the sunset, and I don’t get the girl.”
“I’m a street rat, remember? And there’s a law. She’s got to marry a prince.”
Megamind can choose to become a hero. Neither Dimitri nor Aladdin can do anything about the class structure (but the Sultan can) (awkward but I’m going to say it anyway… so can the Bolsheviks). All three feel that they are something that is unchangeable, but the reality is, all three of them are in stories that are about (or adjacent to historical events that suggested that) people can be more than what society tells them they are. In Anastasia’s case it’s just sort of incidental, but still.
Megamind is clearly the winner here. Believing that since infancy he has been destined to battle Metro Man on the side of “evil,” losing his nemesis and later losing his chance at romantic love compel him to rethink his identity.
Aladdin runs a close second. He’s the “diamond in the rough,” someone who is much more than what he seems. I believe this is about how he uses his third wish to free the Genie because the Cave of Wonders had decided that Genie enslavement isn’t cool anymore, but in any case, people tell Aladdin he’s a worthless street rat and the movie says, “he’s poor and almost homeless but that’s not the same as worthless” which is kind of nice.
And Anastasia has Dimitri start as a kitchen boy, but he’s not really a kitchen boy in the end. Not anymore. But that’s awkward because the teenage girl who was a real live person and who this is loosely based on was murdered in the power struggle, so let’s just end the post.
BEEE YOURSELF.
The Genie
I, three, am what Myers-Briggs define as an INTJ – if you aren’t obsessed with personality quizzes, that means I’m utterly out of touch with my emotions. Things that aren’t logical make me uncomfortable. And in my life I’ve only cried over one book – Anne of Green Gables, upon reread.
owl machine 