Episode 4: The Spoils of War

K.

sansaspoilers

How does a dragonfire battle look less cool than the Battle of the Bastards?

Anyway. Dany seems a bit like a villain, Jaime is a hero, Bronn saving him at the end is the only good thing Bronn has ever done and probably will ever do.

That’s the thing about Bronn. If the show were being honest about cynical, shitty Bronn, he’d have taken off as soon as he heard the Dothraki screaming. He does advise Jaime to leave, but real Bronn would have just been out of there without bothering to provide wise council.

And there’s no way he’d leap almost into Drogon’s mouth in order to save his liege lord. Come on, now.

That’s what I hate about this character. He’s supposed to be a lovable shitty cynic. He is that in the books, and he sucks. He suuuuuuuuucks. He’s entertaining while he’s getting paid and working for Tyrion, but he suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. There is no value to him at all, and the books are honest about it. The show is trying to have its cake and eat it too with him and it’s annoying AF. This character archetype is the worst and I’m tired of it.

And he’s going to survive it all, isn’t he. He’s going to be on the fucking iron throne at the end, I bet.

Poor Jaime, though. He’s having a rough time with all of this. I’m buying his struggles thus far about trying to believe Cersei isn’t that bad, but, again, the book version is just way better. And watching his men die in the flames is just shit. He’s the guy who saved King’s Landing from Targaryen fire. I mean. If he switches sides I’ll be shocked. In fact, I hope what really happens is that once the White Walkers are gone Jaime kills Dany.

I’m sure that’s how it’ll go.

Because she’s totally going to be a villain. Did you see the way she flipped out at Tyrion?

Oh boy oh boy I’m so excited to watch D&D turn a beloved female character into the beloved male character’s love interest and then turn her into a villain that someone (probably a dude) needs to kill in the end! It’s going to be handled SO WELL!

sansaweary

I’m glad Drogon didn’t die, though. And when he smashed that catapult that was cool.

The “Sansa is now jealous of Arya because Bran gave her a dagger and she can fight” thing is baaaaaadly written. I can see it working with a good writer but oh man, this is not that.

But Brienne/Arya fighting is the coolest thing EVER.

Sansa/Arya/Brienne/Bran/Podrick is Westeros’s hottest new five man band and I don’t care if that isn’t actually going to happen, OK.

Bran quotes “chaos is a ladder” to LF as if to remind him of the days in which he was, like, effective. And scary. And interesting.

But he looks like he’s scheming now, so maybe with Bran’s helpful reminder of one of his big speeches, he’ll start acting like the LF we know and despise.

Also can all of the Dothraki die.

I don’t like them and their cutting-off-horse-legs ways.

❤ erm

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